Friday, 9 May 2014

My first Mother's Day

I thought my first Mother's Day would be the perfect opportunity to reflect upon the past four months, as well as the nine months that preceeded them.

I found out I was going to become a mother on May 25, 2013. It was a day that changed my life forever. Before that day, I would never have thought that a little piece of plastic would reduce me to a sobbing mess of emotion! From the moment I knew I was going to be a mother, I have loved and worried about my child. 

A month later when we visited the midwife and I saw our little one for the first time the wave of all encompassing love overwhelmed me and I surprised myself as the tears streamed down my face instantly and uncontrollably.

My love continued to grow each day and there are no words that adequately describe the feeling when your child is placed on your chest the first time. My heart would live outside of my body forevermore. Looking into her eyes, touching her soft skin, listening to her breathe - I became complete.

The past four months since that day I have felt a love I didn't know was possible. I loved her from the day I knew she existed, but once I could hold her in my arms that love became something I didn't even know was possible.

There have been challenging moments, those early sleepless days with a fussy baby aren't easy. My patience has been tested, I have been exhausted and cranky but I wouldn't change a thing. Anything worth having is worth working for.

I have also fully realized the love my mother has for me and what she has gone through. I have always loved my mom, but until I became a mother myself I could not understand the true depth of a mother's love. I want to thank my mom for carrying me, giving birth to me and loving me and now my daughter, unconditionally.

As my first Mother's Day is quickly approaching I know I have not been a mother long. There is so much more to learn and experience, for which I can't wait. Flowers, breakfast, jewelry, I see endless ads for Mother's Day gifts but no gift could compare to just siting on the couch, my daughter asleep on my chest. I can smell her sweet breath, feel her tiny body rise up and down with each inhale and exhale. This Mother's Day I want to thank my daughter Isla for giving me the greatest gift - motherhood.

Friday, 2 May 2014

Postpartum Hair Loss

Ugh. I wish more people talked about postpartum hair loss, I had no idea what I was in for! In the interest of keeping it real for mothers-to-be...
I brushed my hair before my shower. Washed a ton of hair down the drain and I still got this after I ran my hand through my hair before styling it this morning. I feel like I'm going bald and honestly lose a handful of hair every. single. day.

While you're pregnant the normal cycle of hair growth and fallout changes. You continue to grow hair but less falls out so you get lovely thick, glossy, preggo hair. As your hormones regulate postpartum, the hair you would normally lose goes back to falling out. 

So there you go moms-to-be and ladies who are planning to have kids, cut your hair short or start buying draino in bulk ;)

Thursday, 1 May 2014

Meeting Great-Granddaddy

A few weeks ago I took Isla to meet her great-granddaddy, Sam. My grandfather has Alzheimer's and lives in a small care home with a few other seniors with memory problems.  My grandma does not need memory care so she lives on her own in an apartment in town.
Although my grandfather will not remember their meeting and neither will my daughter, it was important to me that they meet.
My granddaddy has always been one of the most important people to me. Growing up, we always had a special bond and I loved spending time with him. A brilliant man, he worked as a geology professor at the University of Oregon for the majority of his career. It is hard to see such an intelligent person struggle to remember everything from where he is to who people are. Luckily he still remembers his family members and I'm so glad he got to meet Isla, it meant a lot to me. Hopefully we will get to visit again soon.